#1 (permalink)

Okay, so the past week or so I've had 3 main feelings. I've had happiness, anger, and sadness. Obviously, I prefer happiness over the other two, so when people cause me to drift into the other two emotions, I tend to act like an asshole, or shut myself off from the rest of the world.

So just quickly to sum up what's happening in my life. So the whole shit with my ex. It's still kinda weird. I think she still has feelings, and has said so. I still love her. She says it just wouldn't work, for a bunch of reasons. I don't know whether to believe her, cause I can throw most of them out. She says she really cares about what her family thinks, and I'm not exactly "cool" in their books. Well if you think of it that way, why don't you tell your family how you're gonna lie to them saying "I'm going to my friends house for a sleepover", when in fact you're going clubbing, and doing ecstasy, trying to hook up with some guy. When you look at it that way, I'm a fucking angel. She asked some people, and they said we shouldn't get back together... Cause those friends probably don't really like me, since I have a problem with trusting people. But put that all away, we kinda fool around with each other first 2 periods we have together sometimes. Fucked up thing is, she acts like herself then, but when we're around other people, she acts like she barely knows me. Don't know what that's all about, or what she's trying to prove but whatever.

Next thing, that really pisses me off is this French girl. She came from France, and ever since she first saw me, she fucking fell in love with me. Why I don't know. I was going out with my ex when she tried to make a move on me. So obviously I made it quite obvious, like kissing her right in front of the girl to get the point across. After we break up, she starts talking to me more (hmm wonder why). So then on Valentines Day, I go upstairs to get my stuff, and see her sitting by herself crying. Me being the nice person that I am, I sit down and talk to her for the next 40 minutes to make her feel better. I succeed, but in the back of my mind I knew that this act of simple kindness would backfire in my face, as a lot of things do. She starts talking to me more and more, and finally asks for my MSN. I give it to her (how can you say no to that). She starts talking to me EVERY SINGLE TIME I go online, for the WHOLE TIME I'm online. Though it was very annoying, I tried to not let it get to me. Then she starts telling me all her problems with her family and shit, and I try to help out. Couple days go by, and now my ex is trying to hook me up with this bitch. She starts asking me why I can't give her a chance and all this bullshit. I'm not even going to go into all the reasons, or conversations I've had about this matter. In the end, I pretty much told her to stop talking to me.

Today, my ex starts talking about her, with 2 other people, and me, saying how mean I am to her. I tell her I'm not, and explain that she's very annoying. The French girls friend is in the class too, and overhears all of this. Tells the French girl that I'm talking about her, and making fun of her in front of all my friends. I don't even like the other 2 girls that were in the conversation, and neither did I want to talk about what was being discussed. So great, now she thinks I told everyone all her "secrets" and told everyone what she told me. Which is so fucking untrue. So now this just angers the shit out of me, so my asshole senses start tingling, so I just tell the girl that I said no shit about her, and told her to fuck off. There's more arguing and shit, but I could write a novel about all this bullshit, so I can just leave out the more minor shit.

So that's the latest chapter of the life of Adrenaline. Throughout all this shit though, amazingly I've kept my head up the past couple of days. I haven't been drowning in my sorrow, which I was doing the past week. So instead of being ashamed for being an asshole to a couple people, I'm feeling pretty damn good about everything. Funny how that works.

/rant