#1 (permalink)

Note: SHW does NOT support cheating!

I am an expert cheater. I started when I was in 4th grade and continue doing it to this day. Some people say that cheating is only hurting me and doesn't help me build knowledge. Everything I have cheated on is stuff that I never use even to this day. I do it because I can and once I am done doing it I have a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Instead of wasting 5 hours working my ass off, I just spent that whole time doing other things much more enjoyable. So go ahead and flame me and say I am an idiot for writing this but I hope those few of you who understand where I am coming from will appreciate this.




Straight Copying: Most basic form of cheating.

On Tests:
For those who really lack the improvisation needed for the ultimate form I cheating I recommend this one. It is fairly simple. When you start taking the test, look at the person(s) paper(s) that is fairly close to you and copy their answers. Make sure the person that you are copying the answers from is smarter than you. Nothing worse than cheating and doing worse than you would have if you had just guessed.



Pros:

- Available when a pop quiz is given.

- Best chance of getting a good grade if sitting next to a smart person

- If the test is a short answer test you can get an idea of what to write.

Cons:

- Too much attention to the other person’s test may give you away.

- That other person(s) might be stupid.

- If you are just one number down on a scantron then you are fucked. (ex. You put their #2 as your #3)

- They don’t have the same test form as you.

On Homework:
For those who procrastinate till the very end such as myself. Or those who actually attempt to do the homework but can’t figure it out. This is pretty basic. Before the class, borrow a friend/girlfriends paper and just copy it. Don’t duplicate word for word. Otherwise you have a good shot at getting caught.



Pros:

- Saves you the hassle of bringing home your books and hopefully avoiding Scoliosis.

- Very simple yet effective measure.

Cons:

- On short answers or essays this rarely works. A lot of sentence modification is needed.

- If it is graded for correctness that other person might have done worse than you would have if you put forth some effort.

- TIME CONSUMING!!!

Creating a Cheat Sheet: The act of putting notes and/equations on a piece of paper so that you have access to them on a test.

Piece of paper in your clothes:


One of the most effective measures of cheating, especially when you need just small bits of information. This will allow you to jot down one last bit of information before the test without looking too suspicious.

Guidelines:

- Do not rip a piece of paper when the classroom is quiet. This is a dead give away.

- Wear a sweatshirt. This gives you multiple access points: up the sleeve, in the pouch, on the inside of the actual hood. I have found on the palm side of your sleeve works the best.

- Type it if you need a lot of information.

- Only put the sheet under the test as a last resort. This is the most noticeable forms of cheating and will ruin your day.

- Relax. Don’t bite your nails, don’t look around, but don’t start straight at your paper the entire period. Never ever make eye contact with the teacher. Look in their direction but never at his/her eyes.

Pros:

- Allows you to have a hard copy of equations or answers.

- If you need an equation it is hard to get the wrong one when you have it on paper.

Cons:

- Can sometimes create too much noise or a disturbance during class.

- If you sit next to a student that has too much integrity they will rat on you.

- Easily spotted by the teacher.

- Gives the teacher hard evidence if you are caught.

Attached to a hat:
A most ingenious method passed down to me from a fellow cheater. Tape the paper/equations/notes to the inside of your hat. Keep the hat on while walking into the class. Then, once the test has started just casually take the hat off laying it topside down so you have a clear view of the answers.



Pros:

- Almost foolproof. Only real idiots get caught with this one.

- Gives you a little bit of space for some more notes or equations than a small slip of paper.

Cons:

- Teacher won’t let you wear hats in class.

- The teacher walks around the room during the test.

- Causes you to make a somewhat awkward movement that might catch a teacher’s attention.

- Allows the teacher to see any eye movement. Don’t be too rigid or flit your eyes around. Casually look around, rest your eyes on the notes, scan, then look back down. Don’t get into any routine or pattern.

Inside of a water bottle:
This is one of the more complicated methods of cheating. It involves sticking your notes to the inside of your water bottle so that during the test you can have a safely concealed batch of notes. In order to pull this off successfully you will need to remove the wrapper around the water bottle completely with minimal tearing. Then, you need to put the notes either on that wrapper or glue paper to the inside so that it stays. After, put the wrapper back on as tight as you can. I recommend using superglue or cement glue. If the wrapper falls off you are done.



Pros:

- This is still in the beginning stages of being exploited, very few teachers would see this one coming.

- Very discreet way to get answers without a neighbor possibly interfering to aid or hurt you.

Cons:

- Most kids don’t understand how precise this art is. They half ass it and then get caught. Thus causing more teachers to catch on.

- Teachers won’t allow water in their classroom or make you take everything off of your desk.

- If the teacher suspects anything you have no way of ditching the evidence in time.

CAUTION: If done improperly then you are fucked. Also, some teachers make dashes on the papers that have no writing on it to keep this from happening. I recommend just copying it straight over.

Note: for those who are past Cheating 101 and 102. I recommend using a dark colored soda as your drink of choice. This is what you do. Walk into class with an unopened soda bottle with the answers on the inside of the wrapper. The teacher might think of the water bottle trick but won’t see this one coming. Go to your seat and once the test begins start drinking. Don’t drink too quickly and give yourself away. But, this allows you to tilt the bottle to see the answers and also covers them effectively. CAUTION: Only use this if you are experienced and can improvise if necessary.

Calculator Trick:
Anyone with a Ti-83 or greater calculator should know about the programming abilities it offers. Basically, when you take a Math/Science test you should be allowed to use a graphing calculator. Before the test, write any notes or special features in a program so they can be accessed during the test. Confused on how to do it? Read below.

Turn On à PRGMS à NEW à (Type in whatever you need to using the alpha key for letters, use 2nd Math to get most mathematical symbols as well) à 2nd Quit à PRGMS à Click Right Arrow to get to EDIT à Thumb down until you see that program à ENTER = Viola, all that info you just typed in.

You can also search the internet for programs that automatically calculate certain functions and equations. Just use our big friend Google.



Pros:

- Allows you to have an endless supply of notes.

- Having programs does calculations in mere seconds.

Cons:

- Not allowed to use calculators. Or not allowed to use graphing calculators.

- Teachers ask to see programs on calculators before beginning.

- Limited to Math and Science classes.

Communicating:
The act of talking to other classmates/friends/parents/professors via electronics or signaling. The simplest form of this is just straight text messaging. Hide your phone in a sweatshirt pocket, and then text without looking. It is perfect, as long as you know what you are doing. Don’t keep your vibrate on or your ringer. All it takes is a little too much noise and you are dominated. Text your classmate and ask for an answer, I found the best is to just finish the test, then using the ABC on your text, send a message with all the answers in order. Ex. abaccddbaddbac

Signaling:
One of the most intense yet sophisticated forms of cheating. Only absolute experts should even attempt this. It should also be noted that unless your buddy is a genius and actually studies then the two of you will have to have some kind of knowledge of the test material.

Guidelines:
- Only use signals that can’t be used against you. For example, clapping your hands is more or less a dead give away.
- I personally prefer bouncing your foot up and down if the person is close, or using small hand gestures depending on your buddy’s location.
- In order to make this work you will have to get together and discuss how it will be done. I personally use the foot tap because the teacher can rarely see it and it is easy for the person to look at the ground and not look suspicious.
- Here is a good code: for multiple choice, A = 1 R. Foot Tap and then 1 L. Foot Tap, B = 2 Distinct R. Foot Taps, C = 2 Distinct L. Foot Taps, D = 1 L. Foot Tap followed by 1 R. Foot Tap.
- For each additional letter just add more foot taps.
- The reason I don’t just use one tap for A then 2 for B is that it is too simple and cause easily be confused for another letter. Like I said this if for experts only.

Pros:

- Nigh impossible to be caught by teachers.
- Once pulled off you know you are better than everyone else and you are an expert.

Cons:

- A lot of nubs use this technique and get caught. Thus teachers are starting to figure it tout.
- Extremely difficult to pull off. Much prep work is needed to pull off a successful cheat.
- Doesn’t work well for people with bad vision.

Using Music:
This is one of the most ridiculous forms of cheating and in my opinion should only be used for those who lack the skill to pull off a successful cheat. Basically in order to pull this off you are committing as much work to record to the disk or MP3 player as it would if you just had done it the honest to god way. Since I don’t recommend using this I will give you a brief idea. You’ll need a microphone and a computer. Record whatever notes you need onto the computer and then transfer them to the Ipod or CD Player. When you are in class you are going to put your headphones in your ears but keep them covered by a hat/hair/hoody.



Pros:

- The most info you will ever have access to.
- Extremely technical.

Cons:

- Very difficult to set up.
- If you go past the notes you needed then you will have to do a lot of work to get back to that portion of the disk or MP3.
- All in all if you resort to this then you admit defeat.

Test to Test:
Basically, this is the most awesome form of cheating but is also the riskiest. Get caught and you are in for some serious trouble. I have done this on 5 or 6 different tests. If the teacher exits the room, snoop around the desk and folders until you find the tests. Also, find students from this class last year and try and get their tests. The best thing to do is to straight take the test, copy it and try and return it if possible. Otherwise the teacher might know what is going on. CAUTION: try and do it when no one else is in the room, it is very easy for someone else to rat you out and then you’re caught. This is probably the worst form of cheating because if you get caught you are done for. Do not go around giving copies to all your friends. Maybe one buddy who you know will keep his mouth shut but that is highly unlikely.

Submitted by TheMaker420
Student ID's:
At many schools you have to wear IDs, and the easy way to cheat on vocab tests or anything like that, you can just write it on the back of your ID and look at it during the test/quiz. Once again, to pull off a successful cheat ensure that some time is put into this. Don't half ass it and end up having it fall off so that the teacher sees. Use some double sided tape so that you can put the sheet on the back and it doesn't look like anything is puffed up.

Pros:

- Simple and easy way to cheat.

- Allows you to walk in with the smug satisfaction of having the answers on your test and the teacher not even knowing.

Cons:

- Maybe difficult for many to pull off especially if you are still new to cheating.

- Teachers might ask you to take these off and put them away.

- If you do get caught nigh impossible to ditch the evidence or act dumb.

Submitted by TheMaker420
Desk Writing:
I forgot to add this one. This is another personal favorite. Basically just take your pencil, and write down equations or answers on the desk. Very simple yet highly effective.

Pros:

- Very easy to use.

- Allows you to look like you are working when you are really staring at answers or equations to help you.

- The most important though is that it keeps that stupid "I stayed four hours after school girl/guy doing homework and studying to get an A" from seeing you cheat and turning you in.

Cons:

- Need to write on the actual desk and someone may see you doing it.

- Someone might say something if they see you staring straight at the desk instead of the paper. So be smart and mix it up.

- I once got a SWP for writing on my desk. The teacher saw it after the test but she thought I was just drawing.

What to Avoid at ALL Costs:

1. During the test relax, remain calm, and don’t be too jumpy. Most importantly though, do not look at the teachers eyes. You might as well put on a damn clown outfit and start jumping up and down during the test.
2. Don’t be an idiot when it comes to telling people. The more people you tell the higher your odds are of someone ratting you out. Cheating is great, but getting caught isn’t. The less people know about it the less of a chance you will have of pulling it off successfully
3. When creating cheat sheets make sure you put some effort into it. If the print is scribbled or too small then you will be making too much movement. Any kind of awkward movement will make you look suspicious and then the teacher will be making a mental note of you.
4. Other students are as much of a threat as teachers are. Don’t allow yourself to think that the person who spent 5 hours studying to get a good grade is going to allow you to cheat.
5. Sit in the middle of the class. Preferably behind a bigger student. Also note that if the teacher barely recognizes you or knows your name the better off you are. Unfortunately I had a big mouth in school so I had to be really careful with my habits.
6. Don’t be an idiot and put the answers on your binder because a plastic sheet keeps it inside. Usually you have to put it all in your bag anyways.

This pretty much wraps up my cheating guide. If you can think of anything I should add just let me know. I will take some pictures and add them to the post so that people can have a visual.

#2 (permalink)

Note: At SHW, we do NOT support cheating.

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www.last.fm/user/shmads/

#3 (permalink)

I edited your original post and put the disclaimer at the top, so that people know before reading, lol.

uhm, I'm not sure how Z is going to like this, so for now I'll leave this open, but Z has the right to close it at anytime.

IMO it's a great writeup.

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#4 (permalink)

Good thread, if a teacher saw this they would have a heart attack lol.

#5 (permalink)

You just like. Gave Z permission to close it

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#6 (permalink)

Great post man. Some of those are just plain dumb and shouldn't even be attempted, but there are a lot of them that are really good.

I have a couple:

Student IDs

At many schools you have to wear IDs, and the easy way to cheat on vocab tests or anything like that, you can just write it on the back of your ID and look at it during the test/quiz.

Desk Writing

Write the definitions to any vocab words on any of your tests on your desk; a simple and effective method.

Shoe Method

If your not overly obsessed with your shoes, write any answers/notes on the bottom of your shoe, or lower down on the side. It's pretty much flawless in my eyes, as long as your not stupid about it.

That's all I got for now, I'll try and think of some more later.

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#7 (permalink)

i dont see why not.

Nice thread man, i cheat alot to especially on important tests like for the end of the term.

#8 (permalink)

Thanks TheMaker420, I added your submissions. Sorry about not knowing if Z would like it or not. I kind of figured it would be okay but I guess we will see. If you guys decide to delete this thread, at least forewarn me so that I can copy it all and save it.

#9 (permalink)

sweat!

#10 (permalink)

Even though I don't cheat, nor like it. This obviously deserves plus rep.

btw the teacher caught some of my dumb friends copying off me. He just took it and gave me full credit and told me not to let them have it. Could've been a saturday school

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Thanks Shmads!